I turned 50 last week.
Birthdays are not something I like to make a big deal about, at least not since I was a kid. I tell my wife and family that I don't want a big party, I don't want a bunch of gifts, I don't want anything like that.
I do appreciate acknowledgement. A warm or humorous "happy birthday" wish is nice. And cake. I like cake. Maybe a nice dinner. Other than that, I'm pretty low-maintenance when it comes to birthdays.
But then again, 50 is kind of different. It's a milestone year.
Age 18 is a big one, because you can now be tried as an adult in every state, so you have to make an honest effort to cut down on felonies. Age 16 is also pretty huge, because you finally have legal permission to be the primary cause of a car accident.
Upon reaching 21, you don't have to be sneaky about drinking beer anymore. That feels great, until you realize that drinking beer felt a lot more rewarding when you had to be sneaky to get your hands on the beer in the first place. Now that it's perfectly legal to drink beer, it's not nearly as fun.
That's about it for age milestones growing up. Turning 30, and later 40, does give certain people something to be slightly depressed about, but that's mostly because all their buddies who aren't quite that old give you a ribbing, as if they aren't going to be that old someday. They'll get theirs.
Then comes 50. That's a big one.
At the very best, we each get about a century on this planet, if we're lucky.
So at age 50, I've now used up about half of my time here, and I'm afraid I've spent a lot of it trying to decide which movie to watch.
Seriously, I'll decide I want to watch a movie after supper, and by the time I decide which movie I want to watch, it's time to go to bed.
I also believe I've spent about 30 of my 50 years on hold, listening to really bad jazz music, waiting to hear a live voice on the other end of the phone. Sometimes the wait is so long that when the live person finally gets on the line, I've forgotten why I was waiting in the first place, which is fine, because it's probably about time to go to bed.
I've only been 50 for a few days now, but so far it seems to me that when you reach 50, it starts to become clear that you've wasted a lot of time doing things that have little or no value to yourself or the rest of the world.
Sometimes that's through no fault of your own. Really, there are a lot of useless things you simply have to do in day-to-day life. Trying to avoid them just wastes even more time.
But some of that's on me.
Because it wasn't until very recently in my life that I realized time is a commodity far more valuable than money. You can't buy time, you can't make up for lost time, you can't have too much time on your hands. Those expressions are all based on fantasy and falsehood.
And unlike money, when it comes to time, none of us know how much we have left in the bank.
I'm lucky to be 50. It's not an exaggeration when I tell you I've had to fight like hell to get here.
And I've had the pleasure of knowing, and loving, some wonderful people who didn't make it this far. When I think about those people, I'm sad that I've lost them -- but more than that, I'm sad about all the things they've missed. Big things, little things, funny things, interesting things. Things I know they would have loved to see. Things that would've made them happy to be alive.
I've had a lot of those moments in my 50 years, I've seen and done things I never imagined I'd see or do. On balance, it's been good.
And now that I've made it to 50, I appreciate them, I think, more than I did when the moments happened.
There are moments yet to come, no doubt. Will I appreciate those when they happen? Or will I let them slide by, unnoticed?
Ask me in 50 years.
Birthdays are not something I like to make a big deal about, at least not since I was a kid. I tell my wife and family that I don't want a big party, I don't want a bunch of gifts, I don't want anything like that.
I do appreciate acknowledgement. A warm or humorous "happy birthday" wish is nice. And cake. I like cake. Maybe a nice dinner. Other than that, I'm pretty low-maintenance when it comes to birthdays.
But then again, 50 is kind of different. It's a milestone year.
Age 18 is a big one, because you can now be tried as an adult in every state, so you have to make an honest effort to cut down on felonies. Age 16 is also pretty huge, because you finally have legal permission to be the primary cause of a car accident.
Upon reaching 21, you don't have to be sneaky about drinking beer anymore. That feels great, until you realize that drinking beer felt a lot more rewarding when you had to be sneaky to get your hands on the beer in the first place. Now that it's perfectly legal to drink beer, it's not nearly as fun.
That's about it for age milestones growing up. Turning 30, and later 40, does give certain people something to be slightly depressed about, but that's mostly because all their buddies who aren't quite that old give you a ribbing, as if they aren't going to be that old someday. They'll get theirs.
Then comes 50. That's a big one.
At the very best, we each get about a century on this planet, if we're lucky.
So at age 50, I've now used up about half of my time here, and I'm afraid I've spent a lot of it trying to decide which movie to watch.
Seriously, I'll decide I want to watch a movie after supper, and by the time I decide which movie I want to watch, it's time to go to bed.
I also believe I've spent about 30 of my 50 years on hold, listening to really bad jazz music, waiting to hear a live voice on the other end of the phone. Sometimes the wait is so long that when the live person finally gets on the line, I've forgotten why I was waiting in the first place, which is fine, because it's probably about time to go to bed.
I've only been 50 for a few days now, but so far it seems to me that when you reach 50, it starts to become clear that you've wasted a lot of time doing things that have little or no value to yourself or the rest of the world.
Sometimes that's through no fault of your own. Really, there are a lot of useless things you simply have to do in day-to-day life. Trying to avoid them just wastes even more time.
But some of that's on me.
Because it wasn't until very recently in my life that I realized time is a commodity far more valuable than money. You can't buy time, you can't make up for lost time, you can't have too much time on your hands. Those expressions are all based on fantasy and falsehood.
And unlike money, when it comes to time, none of us know how much we have left in the bank.
I'm lucky to be 50. It's not an exaggeration when I tell you I've had to fight like hell to get here.
And I've had the pleasure of knowing, and loving, some wonderful people who didn't make it this far. When I think about those people, I'm sad that I've lost them -- but more than that, I'm sad about all the things they've missed. Big things, little things, funny things, interesting things. Things I know they would have loved to see. Things that would've made them happy to be alive.
I've had a lot of those moments in my 50 years, I've seen and done things I never imagined I'd see or do. On balance, it's been good.
And now that I've made it to 50, I appreciate them, I think, more than I did when the moments happened.
There are moments yet to come, no doubt. Will I appreciate those when they happen? Or will I let them slide by, unnoticed?
Ask me in 50 years.
Look around me, I can see my life before me
Running rings around the way it used to be.
I am older now I have more than what I wanted
But I wish that I had started long before I did.
And there's so much time to make up everywhere you turn
Time we have wasted on the way.
So much water moving underneath the bridge
Let the water come and carry us away.
Oh when you were young did you question all the answers?
Did you envy all the dancers who had all the nerve?
Look round you know, you must go for what you wanted
Look at all my friends who did and got what they deserved.
So much time to make up everywhere you turn
Time we have wasted on the way
So much water moving underneath the bridge
Let the water come and carry us away.
So much love to make up everywhere you turn
Love we have wasted on the way
So much water moving underneath the bridge
Let the water come and carry us away
Let the water come and carry us away …
"Time Wasted On The Way" -- Crosby, Stills and Nash.
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