I've decided that there is something terribly wrong with our employment system in this country.
The way it is now, if you're looking for a job, you have to go out and find people who have something that needs to be done, convince them that you are the best person available to do that thing, and convince them to pay you a decent amount of money to do that thing. Then, you have to do it. Then, they pay you. They will keep paying you, as long as you keep doing the job and as long as they still have money to pay you. And as long as they aren't jackasses and don't hate you or something.
That puts me, the person looking for the job, at a huge disadvantage, because whatever it is that someone wants done, I probably don't really want to do it. I have to go to that person and lie -- tell them that I really want to do this thing that they need done, when the truth is, I don't want to do that thing -- let alone do that thing over and over again for 40 or more hours every week. I just want the money that person is offering to do that thing.
Just the fact that someone wants to pay someone else to do something should raise a red flag. If it were really something that someone wanted to do, the person that needs it done would do it himself. Since he doesn't want to do it himself, so much so that he is willing to pay good money to get someone else to do it, you can be sure that it is not something that anyone really wants to do. So essentially, the person with the money is lying, too.
Also, there are probably several other people lying. They are all claiming to really want to do the thing that needs done, even though they really don't want to do it, they just want the money. So the job is likely to go to the best liar of that particular bunch.
Now, before there was a system of laws, I had some advantages. I could tell the person that, yes, I wanted to do that thing, in the hopes that he would come close enough to me that I could hit him over the head with something heavy and just take all his money. Then, I have the money but I didn't have to do the thing he thought he needed done, and since he doesn't have any money anymore, the thing he thought needed done no longer needs to be done. So everyone's happy. Or at least half of us our happy, the other half is broke and has a bad headache.
Unfortunately, they made laws to make that illegal. Also, people with money stopped carrying all of it around with them, and put some of it in banks and other places so the rest of us couldn't get most of it, even if we did hit them in the head with something heavy.
That's probably for the best, because once I have the money, I become a target for someone else to hit me over the head with something heavy and take the money from me. And I don't like getting hit over the head.
The biggest problem, I believe, is that the person with the money is the one who decides what needs to be done. I find that offensive. Wouldn't it be better if the person with the money asked me what I wanted to do, then decided if it was something that needed to be done, and then just paid me to do it?
For instance, I want to drive around town all day in a golf cart and yell at people. That's the job I want the most, and I believe it is something that needs to be done. I would start at 8 a.m., with a bullhorn and a fully-charged battery-operated golf cart, and drive about the town until around noon, the whole time yelling through the bullhorn at anyone I saw. I could even call them names. I think I'd call some of them "potty-face." Others I would call "doo-doo heads." You get the idea. The people I yell at wouldn't beat me up because they'd realize that I'm just doing my job.
Then at noon, I would take an hour lunch break while recharging the battery on the golf cart. I'd probably have a cheeseburger, or maybe a meatball sub. And a Pepsi. Then I would use the bathroom.
Then, at 1 p.m., I would start riding around again, all over town. Depending on the size of the town, I might be able to get to every street by the end of the afternoon. I would call people different names in the afternoon, names like "weirdy the weirdo" and "clunky-butt."
Then, around 5 p.m., I'd call it a day. I'd do it every day, from Monday through Friday, rain or shine, hot or cold. I would take Saturdays and Sundays off, but I wouldn't go golfing on those days. Or if I did, I would walk and not use a golf cart.
I would do this for under $30,000 per year. Plus two weeks of vacation. Plus health and dental.
I would honestly be very happy if this were my job, and I believe that whoever would pay me to do this would be happy with my work, because I would be very good at this.
So, prospective employers ... anyone hiring?
You supply the golf cart.
The way it is now, if you're looking for a job, you have to go out and find people who have something that needs to be done, convince them that you are the best person available to do that thing, and convince them to pay you a decent amount of money to do that thing. Then, you have to do it. Then, they pay you. They will keep paying you, as long as you keep doing the job and as long as they still have money to pay you. And as long as they aren't jackasses and don't hate you or something.
That puts me, the person looking for the job, at a huge disadvantage, because whatever it is that someone wants done, I probably don't really want to do it. I have to go to that person and lie -- tell them that I really want to do this thing that they need done, when the truth is, I don't want to do that thing -- let alone do that thing over and over again for 40 or more hours every week. I just want the money that person is offering to do that thing.
Just the fact that someone wants to pay someone else to do something should raise a red flag. If it were really something that someone wanted to do, the person that needs it done would do it himself. Since he doesn't want to do it himself, so much so that he is willing to pay good money to get someone else to do it, you can be sure that it is not something that anyone really wants to do. So essentially, the person with the money is lying, too.
Also, there are probably several other people lying. They are all claiming to really want to do the thing that needs done, even though they really don't want to do it, they just want the money. So the job is likely to go to the best liar of that particular bunch.
Now, before there was a system of laws, I had some advantages. I could tell the person that, yes, I wanted to do that thing, in the hopes that he would come close enough to me that I could hit him over the head with something heavy and just take all his money. Then, I have the money but I didn't have to do the thing he thought he needed done, and since he doesn't have any money anymore, the thing he thought needed done no longer needs to be done. So everyone's happy. Or at least half of us our happy, the other half is broke and has a bad headache.
Unfortunately, they made laws to make that illegal. Also, people with money stopped carrying all of it around with them, and put some of it in banks and other places so the rest of us couldn't get most of it, even if we did hit them in the head with something heavy.
That's probably for the best, because once I have the money, I become a target for someone else to hit me over the head with something heavy and take the money from me. And I don't like getting hit over the head.
The biggest problem, I believe, is that the person with the money is the one who decides what needs to be done. I find that offensive. Wouldn't it be better if the person with the money asked me what I wanted to do, then decided if it was something that needed to be done, and then just paid me to do it?
For instance, I want to drive around town all day in a golf cart and yell at people. That's the job I want the most, and I believe it is something that needs to be done. I would start at 8 a.m., with a bullhorn and a fully-charged battery-operated golf cart, and drive about the town until around noon, the whole time yelling through the bullhorn at anyone I saw. I could even call them names. I think I'd call some of them "potty-face." Others I would call "doo-doo heads." You get the idea. The people I yell at wouldn't beat me up because they'd realize that I'm just doing my job.
Then at noon, I would take an hour lunch break while recharging the battery on the golf cart. I'd probably have a cheeseburger, or maybe a meatball sub. And a Pepsi. Then I would use the bathroom.
Then, at 1 p.m., I would start riding around again, all over town. Depending on the size of the town, I might be able to get to every street by the end of the afternoon. I would call people different names in the afternoon, names like "weirdy the weirdo" and "clunky-butt."
Then, around 5 p.m., I'd call it a day. I'd do it every day, from Monday through Friday, rain or shine, hot or cold. I would take Saturdays and Sundays off, but I wouldn't go golfing on those days. Or if I did, I would walk and not use a golf cart.
I would do this for under $30,000 per year. Plus two weeks of vacation. Plus health and dental.
I would honestly be very happy if this were my job, and I believe that whoever would pay me to do this would be happy with my work, because I would be very good at this.
So, prospective employers ... anyone hiring?
You supply the golf cart.
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