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I need a shot of the forgiveness vaccine, too

3/23/2021

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Charles City Press, 3-23-21

Hooray for me, I’m getting my shot.

Yesterday I received a call from the good folks at the county public health department, and they scheduled me in. My first shot is later this week, and my second shot will be about a month from now.

I hope you’re getting yours soon, too. Please do what you can. If you’re having trouble getting scheduled, find someone who can help you. The sooner we can end this, the better.

For over a year now, I’ve been writing columns and articles advising and urging the good readers of this periodical to keep a safe social distance, practice good hygiene and wear a mask when you’re out in public. You’re sick of hearing that. I’m sick of telling you.

The “practice good hygiene” part seemed pretty easy for most folks, which is good. There were a few smart butts who got mouthy about that, probably because they’re still mad at their moms for making them wash their hands before dinner when they were little kids. You’re always going to have a few smart butts, bless their hearts.

The keeping a social distance thing was actually the most painful, but most folks eventually abided. The most heartbreaking part of that was families and friends unable to get together, unable to talk in person, unable to hug. Every story I heard about that made me want to cry. You couldn’t give your mom a hug? You couldn’t shake your buddy’s hand? That hurts.

People missed family Thanksgivings and family Christmases. That’s just not cool, and never will be.

The social distance part where you don’t sit or stand right next to someone should have been a lot easier, but unfortunately it wasn’t at first. More than once I had to get a little huffy and clear some space at my local convenience store. Once a few people were told to back off, however, most of them got the gist of it.

Personally, I hope the backing off and getting the heck out of my space part of COVID mitigation is something that lasts well beyond the virus. I’ve never liked it when someone is in my space. It stimulates a deep-rooted urge to become violent, and awakens my worst human impulses.

What should have been the easiest part — wearing masks — ended up being the hardest, and that still makes absolutely no sense to me. Why on earth would you not put a mask on?

People insulted me, they threatened me, they called me names, they called my wife names, they called my kids names — all because I asked them to do what every informed, educated person was telling them to do. Prominent local business people actually tried to get me fired from my job because I asked them to wear a mask.

I’ve been fighting cancer for five years, folks. I’m a high risk of death from COVID. My parents are, too. Same for my nephew, who has Down syndrome. My list of loved ones at high risk goes on and on. Is it any wonder why I’m insisting you put a mask on? Is it any wonder why, when you deliberately choose to not wear a mask, I consider you a threat?

And yet, I’m somehow the bad guy for asking you to do what you know is the right thing to do. And then, I’m told I’m supposed to have thick skin and not take things like that personally.

I don’t always do what I’m told.

Save your stories about how masks don’t help. They are complete BS, and you know it.

The fact is, more than a half million people in this country who would not be dead are now dead, mostly because there were enough other people who did not practice good hygiene, did not socially distance and did not wear masks when they should have.

I personally knew some of those people who died. I also know some of the people responsible. I’m not going to investigate the super-spreader locations here in our community, but we all know where they are. Some people should be ashamed, but they never will be.

We are nearing the end now. My best guess is that by the end of the summer, COVID-19 won’t be a thing anymore, and I am grateful for that.

I’m a strong believer in forgiveness. I believe that “forgive and forget” is the best way to live.

Sometimes it’s not so easy to forgive and forget, though. Sometimes it’s a lot easier to just wear a damn mask.

Anyway, I’m getting my shot. I’m pretty happy about that. Hooray for me.

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Getting on the list, and getting off it

3/9/2021

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Charles City Press
3-9-21


Your name is on some kind of a list somewhere, and so is mine, and I just hope that we’re both on good lists and not on bad lists.

To digress, when I was in college some friends of my parents who obviously didn’t know me all that well asked me how my studies were going, and if I had made the Dean’s list. They seemed to be under the impression that I was really smart and the type of person who would be on a good list like that.

I smiled and politely told them that, yes, I had made the Dean’s list — that is, the Dean’s blacklist.

And they laughed and laughed at that, mostly because they didn’t realize I wasn’t kidding. That Dean guy was out to get me, and in hindsight, I can’t really blame him, but that’s a whole other story.

It’s human nature to make lists. We categorize things, we list them, we check them off when we’re finished. It’s very satisfying. Even Santa Claus, I’ve been told, has a couple lists.

I have an ever-widening list of individuals who I have blocked on Facebook because I found them annoying, and blocking them makes me feel like I’m the king and they’re my royal subjects who I can remove from existence with the push of a button. I sometimes laugh manically as I do this.

I would very much like to be on the COVID-19 vaccination list. I think it’s remarkable that scientists were able to develop the vaccine in a relatively short period of time. It’s also remarkable — in a bad way — that so little advanced planning was done when it comes to the mass distribution of said vaccine.

It’s getting better — we’re getting better — but we’re still in a position where many locales have just a few hundred doses of the vaccine available at a time.

And so, we need to make lists.

We need to prioritize, and that becomes a problem, because my priorities are always going to be slightly different than your priorities. And the things that you and I think are the most important are always going to be slightly different than the things others think are the most important.

So no matter how you do the lists, you’re going to unintentionally pit people against each other.

From what I can see, the lists are prioritizing people who are more likely to die if they get COVID, as well as people who are more likely to spread the disease to others, should they get it.

That makes perfect sense, except when it doesn’t.

I’ve been fighting cancer and getting chemotherapy for almost five years. I have a compromised immune system. You would think that would qualify me for the vaccine list. I’m also only 53 years old, so as of this moment, I am not on the list. I am told that might change very soon.

My dad is fighting cancer, too, and he’s almost 80. He got his shot, and so did Mom. My wife and sister got their shots, because they’re teachers.

I have a friend out on the East Coast who smokes. A pack a day. Smoking puts you at a higher risk. So he got his shot. It seems strange, that he was rewarded for doing something he knew was bad for him his whole life, but it’s absurdly logical.

I am thrilled that all of these people who I love are getting their shots, and acknowledge that I am safer because they are safer.

I am fortunate that I have a job where I don’t need to come into close physical contact with the unmasked masses very often, so I am not upset about not yet being on the list. I am willing to wait my turn.

I am reminded, however, of a time when I played pee-wee baseball, and was standing in the on-deck circle with two outs in the final inning. We were all supposed to get a chance to bat — we were all on the list — but the kid ahead of me struck out, and the game was over, and I never got to take a swing.

You could say that I probably would’ve struck out, too, but not getting your shot feels so much worse than getting your shot and failing. I should put that on my list of wise things I’ve accidentally said.

There’s another issue that I’m sure some intelligent people are dealing with somewhere, and people in charge are probably ignoring them.

A lot of the people who qualify to get on the list do not know how to go about getting on the list.

My parents are pretty knowledgeable when it comes to the online world, for people their age, and it took them several days and advice from several helpful friends to get their names on the list.

I saw a nice lady about the age of my parents at the pharmacy, asking the tech how she could get on the list. The tech explained things to her as politely and carefully as she could. “You get online,” you go to this site, and so on, and so on.

The nice lady smiled and nodded her head and had the expression on her face that we all have when we don’t understand anything that someone else is saying to us, but we don’t want to appear rude or stupid.

There’s no way that nice lady got on the list by herself. I really hope she had a good friend or relative who helped her.

So, as I wait for my chance to get on the list, I think I will compose another list. I’m going to make a list of people I know who could be on the list, and maybe want to be on the list, but aren’t.

I’m going to find out if there is a way I can help them get on the list. And if there is, I’m going to do that. Maybe you can do the same. Because you know what’s more satisfying than putting items on a list?

Checking them off.

That means you’re finished, and more than anything, we all need to finish this.

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